Act IV, Scene 1.
EXT. Scooby building roof.

(Dawn grabs Bobbie’s arm and pulls her toward the door.)

MR. DiBELLA: Where you going? Don’t you want to help me feed the pigeons?

(Dawn and Bobbie are pulling on the roof door but its jammed. Dawn moves Bobbie behind her and takes a fighting stance on the side of the door as the vampire slowly moves toward them.)

MR. DiBELLA: Oh, you’re going to put up a fight, that should make this even more fun.

DAWN: Really, well I’m guessing were your first victims so I’ll tell you a secret.

MR. DiBELLA: And what’s that dear?

DAWN: You wont be the first vampire I’ve dusted.

MR. DiBELLA: Oh really? Well I’m just so scared.

(As soon as he finishes saying scared the door is kicked open and smacks the vampire right in the face knocking him to the ground. The Sandman walks threw the opening lighting a cigarette and sees the look of fear on the girl's faces.)

SANDMAN: Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.

DAWN: Run!

(She grabs Bobbie and pushes her threw the door way. The Sandman steps aside and looks at the girls trying to figure out what’s going on as the vampire jumps back to his feet right in his face scaring the young man who drops his cigarette and immediately punches the vampire in the face knocking it back to the ground. Dawn grabs him by the arm and pulls him threw the door way with her.
Dawn, Bobbie and the Sandman are running down the stairs and Bobbie passes by the door to the eighth floor but Dawn grabs her arm and pulls her back and leads them threw the door and down the small hallway to the front door of Scooby Central and begins fumbling with her key’s trying to find the right one.)

BOBBIE: Hurry he’s coming!

DAWN: Come on, four keys and I can’t find the right one.

MR. DiBELLA: (Bursting into the hallway.)Here’s Johnny!

SANDMAN: Move!

(He pulls Dawn out of the way and kicks the door in with one shot and then push’s both girls in and follows them slamming the door in the vampires face.)

SANDMAN: What in the Sam Hell was that?

(Dawn goes to the weapons cabinet and starts to go threw it as Bobbie and the Sandman are holding the door shut.)

DAWN: It's a Long story.

BOBBIE: He's -- he's a vampire, right?

DAWN: Apparently not that long. (Dawn takes out her cell phone and hits speed dial.) Buffy it’s Dawn hurry home there’s a vampire in the building. Just hurry!

(She hangs up and looks the weapons over again. The two teenagers turn and see Dawn going threw the weapons cabinet and their eyes light up and they look at each other.)

SANDMAN: Right. Vampire.

DAWN: (pulling down her weapons.) Don't worry. He can't get in. It's a thing.

SANDMAN: So... So we what? Just wait here till the morning.

(His eyes widen as DAWN slings a crossbow over her shoulder & gathers two stakes & holy water.)

SANDMAN: What're you doing?

DAWN: I can't let it roam the building.

SANDMAN: Call security.

DAWN: For now, I'm Security. - God I'm starting to sound like my sister.

(She tells them as she moves to the door and opens it and watches the vampire run at the open door way and bounce off of an invisible force field. Dawn smiles at Sandman.)

SANDMAN: Good to know.

(Dawn looks at the confused vampire sitting on the floor.)

DAWN: Did that hurt? It looked like it hurt, I bet it hurt. (She asks the vampire as she hands a wooden stake to the boy and the holy water to the girl.) Heart and head. Stake to the heart, water on the face. The wood kills, the water burns. Like acid.

SANDMAN: What? kill him…you can't be serious.

BOBBIE: He trusts me -- the pigeons -- why can't we --

DAWN: HEY! (Un-slings her crossbow) THIS is NOT for RenFair.

SANDMAN: Your serious?

DAWN: Believe it! You ok with this Bobbie?

BOBBIE: But I like Mr. DiBella.

DAWN: Well I’m sorry, I’ve lost a lot of friends two but that isn’t Mr. DiBella any more and if you don’t believe me just splash a little of that on his face.

(Bobbie throws some of the Holy Water at the demon, which sizzles as soon as it touches his skin. It gets up holding his face with a pissed off look.)

MR. DiBELLA: You’ll pay for that you fat little brat. But being as your mama's fatter, tender -- and better seasoned. I'm off. (Turns and starts to walk away.)

BOBBIE: Oh god! We' got to --

SANDMAN: - There's no enough room in the hall --

DAWN: Hey! Pigeon-droppings!!! Yeah! Hot-butter-beans-soup's-on-c'mon-in and have a taste!! -- Get back guys ---!

(The Vampire jumps at them but Dawn moves out of the way quickly and the Sandman punches him as soon as he lands. Bobbie goes to throw more Holy Water at him but he side steps the water and back hands her knocking her on the couch it then catches Dawn who was trying to stake it from behind and throws her on top of Bobbie.)

SANDMAN: Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?

MR. DiBELLA: Gladly!

(He jumps at the boy knocking him to the ground. He has one of the boy’s arms pined to the ground with one of his and is about to sink in his fang’s when Sandman, rather than trying to push him off, sinks his own teeth into Mr. DiBella's cheeks, ripping into the burnt skin and ferally snarls & spits out. Mr. DiBella recoils and Sandman takes his fingers and jams them into his eyes, hard causing Mr. DiBella to jump to his feet.

MR DiBELLA: You frigging little…(His eyes light up in pain as Sandman kick’s him right in the groin).

SANDMAN: Hey, ladies PRESENT you mook, watch your tongue!

(Mr. DiBella straightens up and is ready for the next lunge, when we hear the whiz-thwop that we know is a crossbow -- and as he dusts, we see DAWN behind him; she holds the crossbow up and then blows the tip like a gunslinger blowing away the gun smoke. She smiles at SANDMAN who is shaky, stunned, but smiling back.)

WOMAN AT DOOR: Excuse me but is that crossbow registered? Don't you know we have strict antique weapons laws in this city?

DAWN: How about pointy sticks? Maybe you wanna, you know, come on in and check to make sure it's all legal? Confiscate my little Fang-Fatale?

BOBBIE: You named your crossbow?

DAWN: Just now.

WOMAN: (Walking in) You're all so precious and clever. Annoying too, killing my new boy toy. But since you three little hatchlings dispatched him so quickly, I don't think I'll waste too much time in mourning. Well – (Vamps out) Who wants to be the appetizer?

DAWN: You know, for hell beasts who don't breathe, vamps sure waste a lot of breath. Blah-di-blah-blah -- geez, I'm starting to get why Slayers are so crabby all the time, and here I thought it was just my sister. Live and learn.

WOMAN: (Stops, scoffing) Your sister, a Slayer. Sure.

DAWN: (brightening) Hey, you've probably heard of her, haven't you? Buffy Summers?

WOMAN (freezes momentarily, then advances): Name-dropping's effective on gossip columnists -- not on --

BUFFY: (peeks round the doorway.) Hey, my ears are burning, somebody drop my name?

DAWN: If it's OK, Buffy, do you mind if we take this one?

WOMAN VAMPIRE: Oh shhi --

BUFFY: Four-letter words, it's all I ever hear in this town, the park, the subway...well not in my building.

BOBBIE (To Dawn): Her building?

DAWN: We can dust her Buffy. Honest.

(Sandman and Bobbie both look toward Buffy, aware that she's the authority. The Vamp's getting ready to see which way to jump.)

BUFFY: Hit her with your best shot.

(The Vamp is looking towards Buffy when Dawn grabs her by the wrist flipping her towards Bobbie, who hurls the holy water down in her face, and Sandman plunges the stake in, but nothing happens. Buffy hurls her stake from her standing position into the vamp's hand, pinning her to the floor.)

DAWN: Stake her again!

(Sandman misses, Vamp kicks Bobbie aside, pulls the stake from her hand, but then the third time he strikes home.)

SANDMAN: (Coughing as the vamp dusts.) And baby makes three.

DAWN: The first time's never easy.

KENNEDY: Not bad…nice moves for normies (nods at Bobbie and Sandman) Sorry, non-Slayers.

BUFFY: Maybe my normal-in-quotation-marks sister wants to explain how two vamps got in to our apartment?

BOBBIE: Not to sound stupid -- but what's this slayer-stuff?


Act IV: Scene 2.

We see Willow, Andrew and Giles sitting in the back of a cab.

GILES: Well I really see no reason to mention the vampire we encountered to the rest of the group.

WILLOW: No…no reason at all.

ANDREW: I haven’t been then scared since we left Sunnydale.

GILES: (Turns to Willow.) How’s your head?

WILLOW: Ok. The ringing finally went away.

GILES: Yes well…I am sorry about that. Didn’t realize the door swung both ways.

ANDREW: They should really start dressing people at the morgue…I mean why do they have to take their clothes off for any way?

WILLOW: Right there with yea on that one. Giles if I die before you, promise me you won’t let anyone see me naked…except Kennedy of course.

GILES: Oh, yes…of course I will Willow.

ANDREW: If I ever see another naked dead man it will be to soon.

WILLOW: So a live naked man would be fine then?

GILES: Oh good lord.

(He says putting his head in his hands to which Willow just grins and looks out the window as Andrew begins to babble.)


Act IV: Scene 3.
Picking up where we left off at Scooby Central.

DAWN: Where’s Xander?

XANDER: Here! (We hear him say weakly but all we see is his hand waving to them from the hallway as if he were lying on the floor.)

BUFFY: We were still a couple of blocks away when you called.

KENNEDY: He kept up for a while but just couldn’t hang when it came to the stairway.

BUFFY: OK Dawn. Splainy, what's with the Home Slayerkit routine with two ready-to-eat vamp snacks? (To Sandman & Bobbie) No offense.

DAWN: Hey! This, so not my fault. We were just riding the mellow before Rogaine boy showed up.

BUFFY: Can you un-Oz that for me?

DAWN: We were attacked on the roof and we had to run down here.

BUFFY: Where you should have stayed with two non-invited vamps banging their heads against nothing and trying to get in.

DAWN: You said choose your ground.

BUFFY: What?

DAWN: That's what you told me, you tell everyone: "Choose your ground." The first one threatened to feed on Bobbie's mom, so he wanted us OUT of the apartment. But all our weapons are here. Advantage us.

KENNEDY: (nods in agreement.) You do say it. Lots.

BUFFY (deflated, but still angry): OK, leading to part two: who's us?

SANDMAN (doesn't wait to be introduced): Mick. Actually, it's Michael, but that's kinda prissy and altar boy.

BOBBIE: Definitely not prissy.

DAWN: Or altar boy.

XANDER (getting up from the floor onto his knees, looking in for the first time): Nice work. Splintered wood. Cheap too. Where Hurricane Buffy goes, Disaster Chief Harris follows and picks up the kindling.

BUFFY: Wasn't me.

MICK: It did give a bit easy.

BOBBIE: So, Mick is it. You haven’t said three words to me in three months, I guess battling undead bloodsuckers is as good an icebreaker as any.

MICK: You always seemed pretty much in your own world...what's your name again?

BOBBIE: Bobbie -- I mean Bob. Funny. I thought the same thing about you.

MICK: Being attacked by things that aren’t supposed to exists is ...kind of...

BOBBIE: A rush.

BUFFY: You think it's a rush? Here's the late breaking news flash -- you've stepped into MY world. Neither of you should've even seen a vampire, much less been fighting one. We're going to talk about facts of life and death -- mainly death.

KENNEDY: (in a quiet sing-song falsetto whisper aside to BUFFY) Spee-eech.

MICK: It's early. I'm up for it.

BOBBIE: Beats the sci-fi-dot-com chatroom to hell. (to DAWN) 'Fang-fatale', huh? Tu parles français alors?

(Dawn smiles at Buffy, very much a ha-ha-I-have-snappy-friends-now smile and Buffy gives a Giles-glare back.


Act IV: Scene 4.

(Buffy and Dawn are walking down a path in Central Park. It’s dark except for the streetlights when they spot two couples walking towards them.)

DAWN: Thanks for not coming down too hard on them.

BUFFY: If anyone's to blame, it was me. Not them. Not even you for a change. (Buffy and Dawn share a rueful sister-smile.) Too many changes. And I should've had a Slayer there. It still feels that if I'm out on patrol, then Spike must be back guarding...(Buffy is silent for a step or two.)

DAWN: Maybe he is. In some way. Maybe trying...to keep a promise.

BUFFY: Philosophy Girl. (Beat) I want you to have friends, Dawn. Good ones. People you don't feel you have to keep away. I don't want to -- judge. It's hard for me. Not judging. You --- ok, don't laugh, this is gonna sound ...you have mom's heart. I know you won't trust people you shouldn't. Even in a crisis. I'm...proud. Of you.

DAWN (hushed by this directness from Buffy, quietly): Thank you.

BUFFY (has to lighten the moment): But -- 'Fang-Fatale'? That I'm not proud of.

DAWN: Yeah. Kinda stinky. I'll leave the Slayer-puns to Slayers, deal?

BUFFY: No deal. The uncertified slayage, fine. The puns -- you don't get off that easy.

(They walk for a moment in silence, then Buffy stops and looks around the dark park.)

BUFFY: Ok, this city was not supposed to be this boring.

DAWN: What do you mean boring?

BUFFY: I'm just -- itchy. I see one vamp in three days and I let my non-Slayer sister and her Next Gen Scooby's take her down.

DAWN: 'Next Gen Scooby’s'? Why not Junior Scooby’s?

BUFFY: Because that sounds like something you eat during a movie. 'A box of Junior Scooby’s please.'

DAWN: But 'Next-Gen Scooby’s'? That could be acne cream. Or a chintzy shampoo.

BUFFY: (Motions Dawn to be quite as she begins to grin a little.) You ready for some more dusty fun?

DAWN: (Looking in the direction Buffy is.) If anything happens to this sweater you’re buying Willow a new one.

BUFFY: Deal.

CUT TO: Four people coming from the direction they are looking.

IAN (vamp 1): Oh, look! Just when it looked like we were going to have to go out to eat.

BECK: They're too thin. Nouveau cuisine is passé.

IAN: (Sniffs) The short one's nicely seasoned though. What's that spicy smell?

GWEN: (Sniffing) Exotic. Ethiopian?

IAN: She's BLONDE.

BROOKE: Ethiopian like BEFORE we were dead. No wonder your little mag crumbled.

IAN: IanCusine never had the backing. If I'd been able to get more advertising --

BROOKE: If you hadn't been so desperate for advertisement, you wouldnt've walked into our nest -- Wait...catch the whiff of the tall one!

BECK: (breathing deeply) The same but...really different.

IAN: Not only home delivery, but gourmet.

BECK: I dunno -- anyone get an uneasy feeling...I mean, they smell...really different. Maybe they're spoiled. Or maybe not human.

GWEN: They're human, they're small, they're delicious looking -

IAN: And I say they're OURS.

BECK (hanging back): I'm really not all that hungry. Can't we go downtown? I'm in the mood for Italian.

IAN: Yeah, and when we get there, you'll've changed your mind and ask can't we have Korean.

(Meanwhile, Gwen and Brooke are stalking Buffy and Dawn.)

IAN: And as usual, the girls are getting first pickings while I sit back here trying to persuade Your Majesty to tuck into her dinner. (Ian begins shoving Beck forward, who's complying, but suckily.)

GWEN (to BUFFY): Hey sweet thing. That's a pretty sassy jacket -- lots of attitude.

BUFFY: Thanks. Sorry I can't say the same about yours.

(Gwen gives a bit of a squeal and stomps her foot.)

BROOKE: Me-ow -- I like your style, Blondie - well, not your hairstyle, obviously not. I wouldn't bother reaching for a gun. You can shoot -- the bullets aren't going to have much effect.

BUFFY (pulls out the stake): And it would've been so nice to put a few holes in that last-year disaster. Why don't vamps ever renew their subscriptions Vogue? If you can't afford Vogue, InStyle's a perfectly acceptable --

(Gwen and Brooke lunge, Dawn trips Gwen, Buffy does an easy quick two-step-stake, and dusts the pair.)

BECK: Holy crap Ian, I told you! Gwen and Brooke --

IAN: SUCH a tragedy -- if you aren't going to EAT, then at least help the preparation --

(Ian vamps, Beck does likewise and follows.)

DAWN: Buffy!

BUFFY: Dawn -- up the hill!

(They run up off the path onto a small rise, Ian and Beck scurrying up after. Buffy snags a baseball-bat-thick fairly straight branch, snaps it into two usable spears, and throws one to Dawn.)

IAN: Good idea -- what do you say Beck? Take those spears, have some shiskeBOBBIE?

(Ian turns, but Beck has taken off down the path.)

BUFFY: Will you be dining alone tonight, sir? Oh, sorry…(Buffy hurls the spear through Ian.) But the buffet's closed.

CUT TO: Beck scurrying along, -- he's doubled back round to find Sir Thomas and Squire Charles standing slightly above and beyond Buffy and Dawn, who are walking down the slope.

BECK: Sir Thomas! Charles ---!!

SQUIRE: That was a pretty piece of balls-up as I've ever seen. Even for you lot.

BECK: How were we supposed to know she was -- special?

(Squire kicks BECK, steps on his back.)

SQUIRE: Insolence and incompetence.

SIR THOMAS: Oh please Charles, just because Jack Lewis was your tutor at Magdalen doesn't mean YOU have to sound like you're from the middle ages. Let poor Beck up. He's frightened. It's unsettling enough to meet a Slayer when you're trained in the arts of war...how much moreso if you trained as a -

BECK: Patissiere.

SIR THOMAS: -- a baker.

SQUIRE: Still, my lord, it's merely one Slayer and another girl.

SIR THOMAS: Sisters, I rather think.

BECK: How can you t--

(The Squire silences him with a kick.)

SQUIRE: I know you have no fear of the little Stickers.

SIR THOMAS: Fear? No. Respect? For this one, I do, oddly. As for the tall one . . .

(Brief shot focused on Dawn as she and Buffy reach the path --

SIR THOMAS: The tall one interests me. See her lines, Charles -- graceful, elegant. Not like the short one -- I grant you, she's quite the little bitc*h (Sir Thomas says this like one who's bred animals, not in its contemporary sense) -- but the tall...She's a dancer. Made for better things. (Squire bows.) And do let him up, Charles. He may be useless for hunting, but he may still be good for tracking. At court, we always had uses for eunuchs.

(Squire lets BECK up, who wipes his jacket.)

SIR THOMAS: Some of them, very, very diverting. (sighs) Happy days, the fifteenth century.

SQUIRE: As you will, Lord.

As we hear these last lines, the camera follows Buffy and Dawn down the path, laughing and tossing the spear back and forth, Dawn showing Buffy moves and vice versa to the voice-over: and as the camera shows us the moon over New York city...

SIR THOMAS: Oh yes, Definitely, as I will.


End Scene.